Michael Moore is Fucking Awesome

by Casey DORRELL (The Semantic, Volume 1 Issue 4)

Michael Moore is fucking awesome. Michael Moore makes politics cool for the kids. Michael Moore stands up to the corrupt media. Michael Moore is our generation's Bob Dylan. Michael Moore is the man who almost single-handedly won the last American presidential election for the Democrats. Michael Moore understands.

How do I know this? I know, because Michael Moore and his friends told me. And he can tell you too. For free. All you have to do is go online and download or watch his latest movie, Slacker Uprising, available freely from Moore himself. Therein you will discover the truth behind the last American election. This truth is that Moore, by speaking directly to the youth vote or “slackers” as he very topically calls them, helped compel a larger number of young voters to come out in 2004 than ever before. Sadly, because of big media bias, corporate goons, and those slackers' parents who just didn't understand (Sing it, Will), his attempt to trim the White House Bush failed.
What he neglects to discuss in the hour and a half long parade of self-celebration, Moore-praising cameo appearances, and political sing-a-longs, is the implication of that failure. We are, however, treated to a barrage of musical performances, apparently leaving him no time to place anything in context. The entire movie is simply this: Moore traveling through the US, with a cohort of celebrities in tow, telling audiences of university students they really ought to vote. Interspersed are clips of him mocking the media, people telling him he's pretty great, and a shallow plotline about a few businessmen who try to stop him from speaking through bribery.

It's lacking even the overt dramatization that he's employed with increasing skill in each successive movie he's filmed. While that may have been what ruined some of his movies for thinking people, it's also what made some of his movies pretty great. This movie is the documentary equivalent of a late-night infomercial. And Michael Moore is what's offered for sale.

Yet, the movie is free. So, even if the movie is tired, the method of its release is noteworthy, right? After all, as Moore states on the movie's website, “It is the first time ever that a major feature-length film is debuting as a free download on the internet -- legally.” He forgets to mention that he already premiered another version of this film a year prior entitled, “Captain Mike Across America,” which, at the very least, is a more accurate title for the vanity project. The movie was largely panned upon its Toronto Film Festival Debut. But I'm sure its critical failure and its probable impending commercial failure had nothing to do with the edit and subsequent repackaging as a “gift to his fans”.

Moore anticipated some negative reaction to his rebranded film and preemptively suggests that people who aren't fans of him won't like the movie. This is fair. The movie is about how great he is, and if you don't think he's great, you're probably not going to enjoy it. But then he adds, “[The movie has] way too many tens of thousands of people liking what I'm saying. If you're a McCain fan, this film should probably be rated X.” If you're not with him, you're against him. So, what will it be, are you a Palin-lovin' Joe-six-pack kind of person, or a thinking Moore fan? It doesn't sound any better coming from the left than it does coming from the right.

If you still want to watch some new Moore, rent one of his earlier movies you may have missed like Roger and Me or The Big One. Sure, it'll cost more than watching Slacker Uprising but it's still a far better deal.